The Expendables

[Joshwaa]

Are you prepared for the most awesomest movie evah? Sly Stallone is making a new movie called The Expendables which is to star him (of course), Jet Li and Jason Statham. Just when I thought the sheer awesome quotient of this movie would make me pee my pants, Stallone confirmed that he is looking to add the INDOMITABLE DOLPH FREAKING LUNDGREN to the cast and my head asploded. (Visual depiction follows.)



Seriously, this movie is about as close to "Blow'd Up" as you're gonna get.

[Galloway]

It is my goal in life to become a Jason Statham stunt double. But don't tell anyone I told you that.

[Joshwaa]

I take back everything I said about The Expendables being possibly the greatest movie of all time. As it turns out, the greatest movie of all time has already been made (though i can't find it anywhere). Prepare yourself for Blizhniy Boy: The Ultimate Fighter



For those of you keeping track of the stars in this film, you have:

Shang-Tsung from Mortal Kombat
Chong-Li from Bloodsport
Kreese from Karate Kid
David Carradine
Eric Roberts
and Gary "Mothereffing" Busey

No movie will ever top this one. Just stop now. Everyone else is playing for second place.

[Scott P]

We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the streets, in competition; a man confronts you, he is the enemy.

[Joshwaa]

As the one-man cheering section for the movie on Gunga, I feel obligated to post this and 100% endorse its message.

[Greg]

First off, you aren't alone Josh. I've been preaching this movie on the podcast and I will 100% be there to see it on it's debut.

As for the video linked. The text made me want to punch somebody. It was a lot like the spoof trailer for "Don't" but with less joke and more seriousness.

[Joshwaa]

It's been a long, strange road. I first posted about this movie almost 21 months ago. I saw it tonight and it was everything I thought it could be. I imagine the script was written in about 7 or 8... minutes, but I don't care. The plot was thinner than Kate Moss on heroin in the 90's. I have no fricking clue what Randy Couture's role in the film was at all.

However, this was my favorite movie of the year by far. I loved Kick-Ass. Iron Man 2 was fantastic. Toy Story 3 was one of the most heart-warming films I have ever seen. And yet, I feel The Expendables was a movie made specially for me. Some people here have comic book movies, some have horror films. Some have Coen Brother movies and some have Almost Famous.

This movie was made for me. It was made for all kids who grew up in the 80s and loved movies with huge explosions, no plot and egregious overacting. People can have their thinking movies like Inception (which I liked) and their fantastic mob movies like Untouchables, The Godfather and Goodfellas.

This was MY movie. It will win no Oscars, no Golden Globes and will probably be panned by most b!tch critics who only place cinematic importance on things like superb acting and thought-provoking plot.

You can have your Academy-worthy cinema. You can have your James Cameron masterpieces. Kiss my @ss. I loved this movie like it was a piece of me and, yes, I'm probably a little tipsy from imbibing a few adult beverages. Mock this movie all you want. Bathe in the shamelessness of its shoot-em-up style and arrogant, macho dialogue - I don't care. This movie was made for ME and I loved every second of it, even if Dolph Lundgren's dialogue was almost unintelligible. This was my brass ring and none of you can take it away from me.

Two thumbs up and I think I need to change my shorts. Hope you enjoy it even a fraction of the amount I did, because I couldn't possibly comprehend a world in which anyone else could appreciate this film as much as I could. So sue me.

[Greg]

I cannot wait.

[KPW]

Yes...Josh had a mangasm....but seriously...the movie rocked. The fight sequences alone were worth the price of admission as well as Dolph Lungren.

Two thumbs up from Josh's wife.